This is not to ruin the idea of the coming Valentine's and all. And let me tell everybody as a sort of a disclaimer that this note has nothing to do with me. (Pauses. Looks to right part of the ceiling.) Well, yeah a little bit about me. And maybe for some years back. Or lifetimes back.
We always view love to be one the greatest things / feelings we ever had. (Here we go again.) Songs, poems, stories, movies... they all talk of that magical feeling we call love. We were drowned with tons of stories of it - of how love lifts us to the highest heaven, and how it conquers everything, and that yeah, at the end of it all, it always winsl, like a happy fairy tale, where maybe we are the prince or the princess.
Applying it to real life, however, paints a different story. When we look at our individual lives, we are so full of those little annoying things that we have kept in the recesses, the dungeons of our hearts that well, did not work out so right. Fancily, and with great arguments - maybe even some quotes from the Bible and all - we convince ourselves that hey, that's not love. That WAS not love. But what is? Is it the one you are now feeling? Is that person you are with today THE ONE? And do you love him/her? Or love the previous one lesser? Some will say "Yeah of course". But then, ten years from this day, the answer will be different. "Well, you know. we was (sic) like children during those years".
But what is love, really? And when do we really know it is there?
Love, says St. Bernard is nothing but GOD himself. Now, before you sign this out as another religious poetry, let me tell you that there is much thought into those words by St. Bernie. You see, Paul before him said that Faith, Hope, and Love remain. And the greatest is Love (I Cor. 13?). They are called theological virtues (I am sorry, this won't take long), and the only thing that remains (says St. Thomas) is love. Because hope turns to completion, and faith turns to knowledge. In heaven, the saints say, all we will do is love. Wow. Strong words.
But let us apply those words from the silvery tower to the hard ground of reality. What do we see? We see people hurting each other. We see broken lives, broken hearts, people crying and killing themselves for love. Love is supposed to be a noble thing. It is supposed to create a magical world. But what is wrong with what we are feeling?
As God cannot be defined - how I wish no one contests this because I will have to turn this into another philosophical debate - I will not also define love. I will only say what it is not. It is called definition by negation. Anyways, here goes nothing.
Love is not about our selves. Love is not about the hurt we had, nor the pain we experienced. Love is not about our tears or our fears. It is not about who is at fault "because it is not ours".
Love is not about the cute smile, or the eyes that shine like diamonds. It is not about the consolation you get nor the gift s/he can bring. Love is not about her sexy legs or shapely body or her smooth skin that is the envy of your whole campus. It is not about that.
There is much crying in love because when you love, you give out your heart and allow the person to hurt you in a masochistic sense. Sadness is prevalent in love because no one is left secure when one is in love. There is something that prevents you from being too happy because you know that nothing is forever. And yes, around the bend, there lies, maybe, one situation or one problem, or one sweeter smile, or one sexier legs, or one fancier car. Thing is, when one's security is founded on something that is not clear or strong, then love is gone in a flick of a hand.
Hence, when you think you are in love, think twice, or thrice maybe. And know that before you march to that great altar of your dreams in those white, fancy suits... be sure that what you are doing is on your head as well. Else, you will always look forward to those bends for some fancier things.
One professor of mine back in college told us that in order not to be untrue to our words, we should not say "I love you", much more add words like "forever" "for eternity" "till the deserts submerged into the sea"... because we cannot be sure about them. Rather, we should say, "I love you....until further notice". That makes it more true. Imagine yourself saying these words, or worse, being told these words. Maybe it will end before it even began.
Love indeed is such a mystery, that when I was holier and younger, I used to say that all that we feel right now are but imitations, tiny sparks of that great love in our hearts. In the end, we will realize that the only love in our soul is that love for God, Who is Love. When our soul becomes free from its body, it will only feel that hunger and thirst for that one who is the love of its essence. And like drops of water, it will end in the great oceans of love in the eternity of God. But, poof! We are not there. Yet (for the religious, I should add this). Hence, we move from day to day, year to year, falling in and out of this emotion.
Therefore, since we know that the odds of finding the one true love the very first moment that you fall in love, is greater than the odds of drawing four of a kind three times in a row (that's cruel!), we have to hold our horses. Hold our feelings, be rational. Because we are not sure. I remember my old friend telling me, when days become weeks, and weeks become months, and then years - 2 1/2 may be fine, I guess. :) , then you will know you are in love. But that is a pity for poetry, ain't it? Because we won't be able to experience the thrill of seeking that which is beyond rationality.
Know this. When you can love a person so much you actually desire that s/he ends up with someone who can take care of him/her even if it is not you, then that is love. Maybe that's a definition. I don't know.
Anyways, thanks for reading. And good luck on that love and the elusive ever after. Look to the person beside you (or the one you're in a relationship) right now. 99 to 1, s/he will not end up with you forever. It's a mathematical fact :)
credits: Sir George Atento's FB Notes
We always view love to be one the greatest things / feelings we ever had. (Here we go again.) Songs, poems, stories, movies... they all talk of that magical feeling we call love. We were drowned with tons of stories of it - of how love lifts us to the highest heaven, and how it conquers everything, and that yeah, at the end of it all, it always winsl, like a happy fairy tale, where maybe we are the prince or the princess.
Applying it to real life, however, paints a different story. When we look at our individual lives, we are so full of those little annoying things that we have kept in the recesses, the dungeons of our hearts that well, did not work out so right. Fancily, and with great arguments - maybe even some quotes from the Bible and all - we convince ourselves that hey, that's not love. That WAS not love. But what is? Is it the one you are now feeling? Is that person you are with today THE ONE? And do you love him/her? Or love the previous one lesser? Some will say "Yeah of course". But then, ten years from this day, the answer will be different. "Well, you know. we was (sic) like children during those years".
But what is love, really? And when do we really know it is there?
Love, says St. Bernard is nothing but GOD himself. Now, before you sign this out as another religious poetry, let me tell you that there is much thought into those words by St. Bernie. You see, Paul before him said that Faith, Hope, and Love remain. And the greatest is Love (I Cor. 13?). They are called theological virtues (I am sorry, this won't take long), and the only thing that remains (says St. Thomas) is love. Because hope turns to completion, and faith turns to knowledge. In heaven, the saints say, all we will do is love. Wow. Strong words.
But let us apply those words from the silvery tower to the hard ground of reality. What do we see? We see people hurting each other. We see broken lives, broken hearts, people crying and killing themselves for love. Love is supposed to be a noble thing. It is supposed to create a magical world. But what is wrong with what we are feeling?
As God cannot be defined - how I wish no one contests this because I will have to turn this into another philosophical debate - I will not also define love. I will only say what it is not. It is called definition by negation. Anyways, here goes nothing.
Love is not about our selves. Love is not about the hurt we had, nor the pain we experienced. Love is not about our tears or our fears. It is not about who is at fault "because it is not ours".
Love is not about the cute smile, or the eyes that shine like diamonds. It is not about the consolation you get nor the gift s/he can bring. Love is not about her sexy legs or shapely body or her smooth skin that is the envy of your whole campus. It is not about that.
There is much crying in love because when you love, you give out your heart and allow the person to hurt you in a masochistic sense. Sadness is prevalent in love because no one is left secure when one is in love. There is something that prevents you from being too happy because you know that nothing is forever. And yes, around the bend, there lies, maybe, one situation or one problem, or one sweeter smile, or one sexier legs, or one fancier car. Thing is, when one's security is founded on something that is not clear or strong, then love is gone in a flick of a hand.
Hence, when you think you are in love, think twice, or thrice maybe. And know that before you march to that great altar of your dreams in those white, fancy suits... be sure that what you are doing is on your head as well. Else, you will always look forward to those bends for some fancier things.
One professor of mine back in college told us that in order not to be untrue to our words, we should not say "I love you", much more add words like "forever" "for eternity" "till the deserts submerged into the sea"... because we cannot be sure about them. Rather, we should say, "I love you....until further notice". That makes it more true. Imagine yourself saying these words, or worse, being told these words. Maybe it will end before it even began.
Love indeed is such a mystery, that when I was holier and younger, I used to say that all that we feel right now are but imitations, tiny sparks of that great love in our hearts. In the end, we will realize that the only love in our soul is that love for God, Who is Love. When our soul becomes free from its body, it will only feel that hunger and thirst for that one who is the love of its essence. And like drops of water, it will end in the great oceans of love in the eternity of God. But, poof! We are not there. Yet (for the religious, I should add this). Hence, we move from day to day, year to year, falling in and out of this emotion.
Therefore, since we know that the odds of finding the one true love the very first moment that you fall in love, is greater than the odds of drawing four of a kind three times in a row (that's cruel!), we have to hold our horses. Hold our feelings, be rational. Because we are not sure. I remember my old friend telling me, when days become weeks, and weeks become months, and then years - 2 1/2 may be fine, I guess. :) , then you will know you are in love. But that is a pity for poetry, ain't it? Because we won't be able to experience the thrill of seeking that which is beyond rationality.
Know this. When you can love a person so much you actually desire that s/he ends up with someone who can take care of him/her even if it is not you, then that is love. Maybe that's a definition. I don't know.
Anyways, thanks for reading. And good luck on that love and the elusive ever after. Look to the person beside you (or the one you're in a relationship) right now. 99 to 1, s/he will not end up with you forever. It's a mathematical fact :)
credits: Sir George Atento's FB Notes
