This is not to ruin the idea of the coming Valentine's and all. And let me tell everybody as a sort of a disclaimer that this note has nothing to do with me. (Pauses. Looks to right part of the ceiling.) Well, yeah a little bit about me. And maybe for some years back. Or lifetimes back.

We always view love to be one the greatest things / feelings we ever had. (Here we go again.) Songs, poems, stories, movies... they all talk of that magical feeling we call love. We were drowned with tons of stories of it - of how love lifts us to the highest heaven, and how it conquers everything, and that yeah, at the end of it all, it always winsl, like a happy fairy tale, where maybe we are the prince or the princess.

Applying it to real life, however, paints a different story. When we look at our individual lives, we are so full of those little annoying things that we have kept in the recesses, the dungeons of our hearts that well, did not work out so right. Fancily, and with great arguments - maybe even some quotes from the Bible and all - we convince ourselves that hey, that's not love. That WAS not love. But what is? Is it the one you are now feeling? Is that person you are with today THE ONE? And do you love him/her? Or love the previous one lesser? Some will say "Yeah of course". But then, ten years from this day, the answer will be different. "Well, you know. we was (sic) like children during those years".

But what is love, really? And when do we really know it is there?

Love, says St. Bernard is nothing but GOD himself. Now, before you sign this out as another religious poetry, let me tell you that there is much thought into those words by St. Bernie. You see, Paul before him said that Faith, Hope, and Love remain. And the greatest is Love (I Cor. 13?). They are called theological virtues (I am sorry, this won't take long), and the only thing that remains (says St. Thomas) is love. Because hope turns to completion, and faith turns to knowledge. In heaven, the saints say, all we will do is love. Wow. Strong words.

But let us apply those words from the silvery tower to the hard ground of reality. What do we see? We see people hurting each other. We see broken lives, broken hearts, people crying and killing themselves for love. Love is supposed to be a noble thing. It is supposed to create a magical world. But what is wrong with what we are feeling?

As God cannot be defined - how I wish no one contests this because I will have to turn this into another philosophical debate - I will not also define love. I will only say what it is not. It is called definition by negation. Anyways, here goes nothing.

Love is not about our selves. Love is not about the hurt we had, nor the pain we experienced. Love is not about our tears or our fears. It is not about who is at fault "because it is not ours".

Love is not about the cute smile, or the eyes that shine like diamonds. It is not about the consolation you get nor the gift s/he can bring. Love is not about her sexy legs or shapely body or her smooth skin that is the envy of your whole campus. It is not about that.

There is much crying in love because when you love, you give out your heart and allow the person to hurt you in a masochistic sense. Sadness is prevalent in love because no one is left secure when one is in love. There is something that prevents you from being too happy because you know that nothing is forever. And yes, around the bend, there lies, maybe, one situation or one problem, or one sweeter smile, or one sexier legs, or one fancier car. Thing is, when one's security is founded on something that is not clear or strong, then love is gone in a flick of a hand.

Hence, when you think you are in love, think twice, or thrice maybe. And know that before you march to that great altar of your dreams in those white, fancy suits... be sure that what you are doing is on your head as well. Else, you will always look forward to those bends for some fancier things.

One professor of mine back in college told us that in order not to be untrue to our words, we should not say "I love you", much more add words like "forever" "for eternity" "till the deserts submerged into the sea"... because we cannot be sure about them. Rather, we should say, "I love you....until further notice". That makes it more true. Imagine yourself saying these words, or worse, being told these words. Maybe it will end before it even began.

Love indeed is such a mystery, that when I was holier and younger, I used to say that all that we feel right now are but imitations, tiny sparks of that great love in our hearts. In the end, we will realize that the only love in our soul is that love for God, Who is Love. When our soul becomes free from its body, it will only feel that hunger and thirst for that one who is the love of its essence. And like drops of water, it will end in the great oceans of love in the eternity of God. But, poof! We are not there. Yet (for the religious, I should add this). Hence, we move from day to day, year to year, falling in and out of this emotion.

Therefore, since we know that the odds of finding the one true love the very first moment that you fall in love, is greater than the odds of drawing four of a kind three times in a row (that's cruel!), we have to hold our horses. Hold our feelings, be rational. Because we are not sure. I remember my old friend telling me, when days become weeks, and weeks become months, and then years - 2 1/2 may be fine, I guess. :) , then you will know you are in love. But that is a pity for poetry, ain't it? Because we won't be able to experience the thrill of seeking that which is beyond rationality.

Know this. When you can love a person so much you actually desire that s/he ends up with someone who can take care of him/her even if it is not you, then that is love. Maybe that's a definition. I don't know.

Anyways, thanks for reading. And good luck on that love and the elusive ever after. Look to the person beside you (or the one you're in a relationship) right now. 99 to 1, s/he will not end up with you forever. It's a mathematical fact :)

credits: Sir George Atento's FB Notes

It's so hard to lose the one you love
To finally have to say goodbye
You try to be strong but the pain keeps holdin' on
And all that you can do is cry

Deep within your heart you know it's time to move on
When the fairy tale that you once knew is gone

When the last teardrop falls
I'll still be holdin' on to all of our memories
And all of what used to be
When the last teardrop falls
I will stand tall
And know that you're here with me in my heart
When the last teardrop falls

So now I'm alone and life keeps movin' on
But my destination, still unknown..
Will there be a time when I'll fall in love again?
When I was meant to walk these streets alone
If there was just one wish I could be granted here tonight
It would be to have you right back by my side

Now it's time for me to find my happiness again
And the emptiness from missin' you
Will never ever end.

='(

Anyone who has gone through the agony of losing someone he/she loves so much will still wish against all odds to have that love back again. But sometimes, a love lost is a love gone forever. No amount of hope can bring back to life a relationship that just died a natural death. Set yourself free, let your heart spreads its wings and fly. Remember, it may rain for 40 days and 40 nights, but still it will not rain forever. One day, the pouring will stop and there will be plenty of branches where you can find rest. One of these is where you will build your nest and start over again. It's never too late.

You may find love and lose it but, WHEN LOVE DIES, YOU NEVER DIE WITH IT. You cannot be a redeemer all your life. The best way to weigh a relationship is through the test of fire. You cannot be a loser with your mistake forever. We all fall and make wrong decisions, but our blunders are not meant to bury us deep in misery, but to teach us the valued lessons of life. Loving is always a learning process... with love we learn how to CARE AND SACRIFICE. We learn to SHARE AND REACH OUT. We learn to be UNSELFISH AND GIVE MORE THAN WE CAN. Then, when everything doesn't end well, we learn how it feels like to fall and get hurt.

But learning doesn't have to end there. After our fall, we strive to get back on our feet and move on. This is where we learn that LIFE DOESN'T END WHERE OUR HEARTACHES BEGIN. THERE'S NO FUTURE FOR A RELATIONSHIP OF LIES AND SELFISHNESS. It's true, there is life in love. But, there can still be life even after losing love. If you leave the past behind and let your heart heal, then you give yourself the chance to find yourself again. The success of a relationship lies not only in the beauty of its beginning, but in its consistency. Make a choice not on impulse but a decision based on a healthy balance of mind and heart.

Let us always remember that...HAPPINESS IS NOT A MATTER OF DESTINY BUT A MATTER OF CHOICE. There comes a time in our lives when we chance upon someone so nice and beautiful and we just find ourselves getting so intensely attracted to that person. This feeling soon becomes a part of our everyday lives and eventually consumes our thoughts and actions.
The sad part of it is when we begin to realize that this person feels nothing more for us than friendship. We start our desperate attempt to get noticed and be closer, but in the end, our efforts are still unrewarded and we end up being sorry for ourselves. YOU DON'T HAVE TO FORGET SOMEONE YOU LOVE. WHAT YOU NEED TO LEARN IS HOW TO ACCEPT THE VERDICT OF REALITY WITHOUT BEING BITTER OR SORRY FOR YOURSELF. YOU WOULD BE BETTER OFF GIVING THAT DEDICATION AND LOVE TO SOMEONE MORE DESERVING.

Don't let your heart run your life. Be sensible and let your mind speak for itself. Listen not only to your feelings but to reason as well. Always remember that if you lose someone today, it means that someone better is coming tomorrow. IF YOU LOSE LOVE, IT DOESN'T MEAN THAT YOU HAVE FAILED IN LOVE. CRY IF YOU HAVE TO, BUT MAKE SURE THAT TEARS WASH AWAY THE HURT AND THE BITTERNESS THAT THE PAST LEFT YOU WITH. LET GO OF YESTERDAY AND LOVE WILL FIND ITS WAY BACK TO YOU. And when it does, pray that it may be the love that will stay and last a lifetime. A woman on the rebound could easily fall for sweeping emotions and be made to falsely believe that she finally stumbled upon the right man...when what she just found is only someone to cover up for the love she lost. A man who makes a promise with words and not with actions may never live up to fulfill them.

IT'S TRUE THAT LOVE CAN WAIT FOREVER, BUT IT IS CRAZY TO STUBBORNLY HOPE FOR SOMEONE WHO DOESN'T EVEN CARE OR UNDERSTAND HOW YOU FEEL. Love makes us see the things through rose-colored glasses. Most of the time, we fail to recognize the danger sign that light up along our way. This feeling you have nurtured for so long isn't healthy anymore. You must realize that you have to let go now before it consumes you and your sanity. There is always a time to think and stop. A time to be sensible and not to allow our hearts to rule over our heads. YOU DESERVE TO BE HAPPY NOT IN THE ARMS OF A MAN/WOMAN WHO KEEPS YOU WAITING BUT IN THE ARMS OF SOMEONE WHO WILL TAKE YOU NOW AND LOVE YOU FOREVER. If loving a person who is attached to someone else is a crime, then, maybe, many of us would have been jailed long before we realize what its consequences could have been. Loving someone is never a sin...it's what people do out of love that sometimes makes it all wrong. The selfish desire to want that person is what makes it a sin. DON'T THINK ONLY OF YOUR FEELINGS FOR REAL LOVE DOESN'T HAVE A PLACE FOR SELFISH PEOPLE. When there is love, there is always sacrifice. When we love someone, we never easily give up on that person. Even if we get hurt badly, we always try to find a way to ease the pain and learn to understand and forgive. Loving too much doesn't hurt...it is when we expect this love to be reciprocated that we begin to seek approval and acceptance of the things we have done and when we are taken for granted and rejected, we curse the very same love that we once freely and happily offered. DON'T WASTE YOUR TIME WAITING FOR SOMEONE WHO NEVER REALLY CARED ABOUT HOW YOU WOULD HAVE FELT. OPEN YOUR HEART AGAIN AND GIVE YOURSELF THE CHANCE TO FIND THE ONE WHO WOULD MAKE LOVING WORTH THE PAIN AND THE SACRIFICE. Just like anything else, our love grows weak and dies, if not taken cared of. It can keep up with pain only to a certain extent. Beyond that, it withers without any hope of recovery and soon dies.

GOD WAKES US IN THE MIDST OF A STORM TO TEACH US A LESSON. HE TAKES AWAY PEOPLE WE LOVE SO WE CAN LEARN TO VALUE LOVE ITSELF. HE MAKES US CRY SO HARD SO WE CAN SEE CLEARLY WHEN WE OPEN OUR EYES. HE MAKES US BITTER SO WE CAN REALIZE THAT THERE IS NO GENUINE HAPPINESS IF WE THINK ONLY OF OUR OWN NEEDS AND NOT OF OTHERS.

It is a resolution we make to ourselves. Acceptance is the key to a new beginning and time is the healer of all wounds. Even if the storm casts its fearful shadow, there will always be light after our darkness and loneliest moments. There is always hope for those who believe. There is always a chance for those who try.

LOSING SOMEONE WE LOVE MAY NOT BE A LOSS AT ALL BUT A BLESSING BECAUSE SOMEONE EVEN MORE DESERVING IS YET TO COME. There is nothing wrong in expressing our feelings to someone we love, but WE MUST ALWAYS BE SENSITIVE TO THE SIGNALS THAT TELL US WHEN TO RATIONALIZE AND BE SENSIBLE. There comes a time in our lives when we would fall for someone who wouldn't be as interested as we are because his/her attention is focused on someone else. There are many times when we love but don't get love in return. THERE ARE TIMES WHEN THE SIGN AHEAD SAYS STOP BUT WE STILL STUBBORNLY HEAD ON. We would say our love is unconditional...but if it really is, then we should never feel bad. But why do we get frustrated when love turns sour? Because we still subconsciously seek acceptance and assurance from the people we care about.

BEING IN LOVE CAN BE THE MOST WONDERFUL THING WE COULD EXPERIENCE BUT IF THE FEELING BEGINS TO CONSUME OUR WHOLE BEING, THEN WE HAVE TO STOP AND LET OUR MINDS AND NOT OUR HEARTS DICTATE OUR ACTIONS. ONLY WHEN WE LEARN TO ACCEPT OUR FATE AND UNDERSTAND THE MEANING OF OUR FAILURES CAN WE TRULY GO ON WITH LIFE. WITHOUT HAVING TO LOOK BACK AND CRY OVER THE THINGS THAT COULD HAVE BEEN BUT WILL NEVER BE...

* Letting go is a tough decision I have to make.. I know it will take time and definitely it would be hard.. I believe God has a purpose in everything that occurs in our life, regardless of whether it is a good one or not. I just have to trust Him. It's about time I think of myself.. my life.. my happiness..